My Great-Grandmother Died of Sadness

The family legend is that my great-grandmother died of sadness. She was my mother's paternal grandmother. My mother never had a chance to meet her as she died when her father was just a little boy.

My great-grandmother had told my great-grandfather that a man had come to entice her. He, of course, would have to defend his honor and that of his wife's, so he vowed to avenge this man's lack of respect. My great-grandmother had told the man that she would let her husband know that he had come around. So now the man had been forewarned. He waited as a mountain cat waits to pounce on his prey. When my great-grandfather arrived the man was waiting with pistol in hand.

That is the story. The family story-teller does not say if my great-grandfather died immediately or if he lingered for days. No one really knows the details, only the consequences. My great-grandmother, Maria del Refugio (Mary of Refuge, note the irony) was left with two little boys, my grandfather, the oldest who was about 4 years old and a younger sibling, around 2 years old, who was known as the "Gordo" (Fatty, for my Spanish impaired friends, which is by the way, a term of endearment.) A year later my great-grandmother died of sadness. Once again, no details are known, did she die suddenly? dramatically? did her appendix burst or did sadness really over take her? What is known is that she left two little boys to live a childhood of sadness. My orphaned grandfather and his brother had aunts and uncles, but they only kept the land and the house and left the two little boys to fend for themselves. The local priest, known as "El Cura" took pity upon the boys, and found places for them to live, they would earn their keep, tending to the animals, working in the fields, eating scraps and sleeping in the barns. This brought my grandfather to the moment as a young man, maybe even a teenager, that I call, "The Scarlet O'Hara Moment." He vowed to never suffer hunger, poverty or humiliation, and he didn't. Now this moment really did occur, my grandfather himself told my mother of this vow. As he grew he developed survival traits, which came in handy. He was able to impress a businessman who in turn gave him an opportunity to work for him. My grandfather became a cunning and ruthless businessman and a man of tremendous wealth. My grandfather would always have a dysfunctional relationship with money, something he would pass on to his offspring, but he never suffered another moment of hunger, poverty or humiliation.

I often wonder what would my grandfather's life been like if he hadn't lost his parents to tragedy and sadness.