Tribute to Gus

Today I said goodbye to a good neighbor and friend. A funeral was held for an incredible man, Constantine “Gus” Kokas. It was very emotional. Especially difficult was watching his broken-hearted wife of 61 years. They both hold a very special place in my heart. I wrote the following thinking I’d have an opportunity to speak at his funeral. Unfortunately, the service did not lend itself to individualized tributes. I imagine that if it had we'd probably still be there because Gus was truly one of a kind.

My family and I had the great privilege and honor and incredible luck of being Helen & Gus’ neighbors for approx. 8 years. They broke my heart when they moved out. And the poor neighbors who moved in did not stand a chance because no one can ever hold a candle to Gus and Helen. I have since come to accept the new neighbors and even to love them, but still they are not Helen and Gus!

I can stand here and tell you how wonderful Gus was, but you already know that. I can also tell you about his sharp wit and great sense of humor but that too you know. A courageous man who once told my husband that “if this is what the Man upstairs wants, I accept it.” And accepted he did, with amazing grace and fortitude, always without anger or self-pity. The last twenty years of his life were lived in a body that betrayed him with Parkinson's, diabetes, multiple heart attacks and cancer of the bladder. He carried these burdens with such patience.

Gus taught us so much.

Today though, I want to tell you a story of a different sort. It is a a simple story about love. Yes, a love story. As Helen and Gus’ neighbor, I had a bird’s eye view of their amazing relationship. It brings to mind a Holy Scripture always read at weddings, but I think it is appropriate to read it here because Gus and Helen lived this every single day of their married life together. It is from the Book of the Corinthians, Chapter 13, verses 4 through 8:

“Love is patient, love is kind. It is not jealous, love is not pompous, it is not inflated. It is not rude. It does not seek its own interests, it is not quick tempered, it does not brood over injury, it does not rejoice over wrong doing but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things. Love never fails.”

For Gus and Helen, love never failed and bear all things it did. Now this doesn’t mean they did not have their differences. As a matter of fact, even how they met has two varying versions; the Helen version and the Gus version. And both contradict each other. Helen's version has her noticing him first. Gus' version has them meeting much later, but one thing he clearly remembered was what happened to him. Gus said that the minute he laid eyes upon Helen, and I quote: ”She captured my heart and she has had it ever since.” This was evident. When he looked at Helen, he always had a twinkle in his eye and a gentle smile would form on his lips.

There too were other differences; Helen, can I tell them how you liked to enjoy the party much longer than Gus did? He always wanted to go home much too early. Well, I think this is what has happened, Gus wanted to go home a little too early.